A Visit To Valinor
by Psycho Goddess
Summary: The choices we face are never easy, but would seeing the future change love's mind? (Bookcanon Arwen based)


The Evenstar is given one chance to see the future before her as she considers the choice.

The song is "What If" by Kate Winslet. Not exactly AU, but not fitting into canon. 

Disclaimer: Belongs to…someone other then me! Also, I'm aware this probably isn't how the characters are necessarily seen by others, it's a bit of creative license (Don't run, I don't think it's that bad!) and I've tried to keep my facts straight. I'll probably make a mistake somewhere (especially with my copy of The Silm still packed), but I do ask that you **_tell_** me what it was. I don't take constructive criticism lightly, nor do I take it harshly. 

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`

Arwen stared out the window to the midnight sky. The stars glimmered down on Imladris. Underneath those same stars was her beloved Estel. She bit her lip. He was the last thing she wanted to think about. A month he had been gone with the Fellowship, and a month she had pushed thoughts of him into the back of her mind, busying herself with any distraction that could have come along. 

She loved him; there was no doubt in that. But she questioned her choices. To choose him meant the loss of everything she had ever known. Her family. No longer would she see her father's stern yet loving face dispense wisdom to travelers. No longer would she meet her brothers after their travels, begging for tales of adventure. Or would she be their target for a light-hearted prank. Not even Elladan and Elrohir were serious all the time. And her mother. Five hundred and eight summers had past since she had sailed to the west, yet it seemed even longer. Years ago she had gained comfort in the fact she would be with her mother when the time came. But to choose Aragorn meant it would never be.

Tears blurred her vision, and she whispered a prayer to the heavens. 

"Elbereth, please, let my fate be known to me. Let wisdom from the Valar guide my dreams."

She retreated into the inner sanctum of her bedroom and let sleep overtake her.

*`*`*

  
_Here I stand alone  
With this weight upon my heart  
And it will not go away  
In my head I keep on looking back  
Right back to the start  
Wondering what it was that made you change  
  
_

*`*`*

"Welcome to Valinor, Arwen Undómiel," said a kind voice.

She whirled, and stood face to face with Celebrian. 

"Nana!"

Her mother laughed. "My child, your face is a most welcome sight."

The women embraced lovingly. 

"But nana, what…?"

"What are you doing here?" Celebrian's face grew worried. "Your father said you had forgotten. Surely it was not that unbearable."

Fear began to grow. "What? What could not be unbearable? Nana?"

"Aragorn."

Arwen's confusion grew. _Aragorn_. What was she doing here? She had chosen him…hadn't she?

"You were forced with a difficult choice, daughter. I am sure you loved him very much, but you have made your decision."

Arwen was at a loss for words. She had chosen to forsake him? She fought the urge to cry. There must have been a reason.

*`*`*

  
_Well I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind  
  
_*`*`*

"Why?" 

Celebrian's face grew hard. "I do not know. But for you to have forgotten it, I would assume there was sufficient cause."

Arwen knew there was more to the story then her mother said, but also knew better then to push the matter. 

*`*

It was later that night the elf approached her. She was beautiful, more so then any elf Arwen had ever met. Vivid emerald eyes dominated a pale, heart-shaped face. Cascades of golden hair tumbled down in a river of curls. She was young, but older then any being she had seen. When she spoke, her voice was all the joys and pains from the beginning of time itself, and beyond. 

"Arwen Undómiel, you have questions that need answering. If you truly wish to know them, come with me. But be aware, what I shall show you will be what you ask for."

Elves spoke in riddles, but to Arwen's ears the words seemed more ominous and confusing than any she had heard. 

"But will the answers I seek bring more sorrow? There is very little the hearts of the Firstborn cannot bear, but the loss of loved ones is hard for all creatures."

"That is for you to decide, but you must make quick of it." 

With that, this mysterious elf circled, gliding off quickly in a swirl of forest green. Arwen hurried after her, feeling jejune beside this woman. 

They stopped at the base of a large willow tree, and looked into the calm twilight water. It lapped against the shore, perfecting the image of a tranquil haven. The elf raised her hand, and it paused. The stars shone in it with an intensity Arwen had neither known nor even imagined possible. 

"Who are you?" she asked, unable to keep an edge of nervous worry from her voice.

"Fanuilos," the elf replied, eyes still intent on the water.

"What is your purpose?" 

"To guide the children of Eru in their quest."

"So you have come to guide me?"

"I have responded with what you have asked of me, now look."

Arwen looked, and in the sea she saw images. They were familiar at first, childhood memories. Friends, family, Estel. As the final image rose, her heart spoke the words that were on the wind that night. 

_Dark is the Shadow, and yet my heart rejoices; for you, Estel, shall be among the great whose__ valour will destroy it._

The memory of that night reminded Arwen once more why she had followed Fanuilos. _Everwhite _she was called, after Varda perhaps. She surely could have passed for a Maia taken form, though not the most beloved of the Valar.

The water was still and silent once more, until slowly a final scene rose. A battle, bloody and desperate. Aragorn sitting at night, eyes distant, unfocused on his time or place. Aragorn with his sword in hand, fighting. Aragorn along dark paths, leading men.

Aragorn, the stars of Elendil above head. Aragorn, dressed in the raiment of kings, eyes closed forever in death.

*`*`*

_What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know  
  
_

*`*`*_  
  
_

The truth stung more then a winter's swim.

"Then he is gone."

"His love was forsaken."

"I asked for an explanation, not more riddles."

"It is a question that can only be answered by your own heart, _ Und_ó_miel_. The choice may yet be before you, whether or not before you lay the choice."

*`*`*

_Many roads to take  
Some to joy  
Some to heart-ache  
Anyone can lose their way  
And if I said that we could turn it back  
Right back to the start  
Would you take the chance and make the change  
  
Do you think how it would have been sometimes  
Do you pray that I'd never left your side_

*`*`*

"Arwen."

She lifted her stormy eyes to the smaragdine irises of her companion. For a moment grey battled with green.

"You have seen what you so dreadfully wished. The life of Aragorn, son of Arathorn, will end, as does the life of every man. That is the will of Eru. It cannot be changed."

"No, I suppose it cannot. But there is no harm in wishing that it could be."

Fanuilos touched Arwen's cheek, a small smile playing on he lips. 

"No harm."

For the briefest moment the faces were reflections of dewy eyed pools. Straightening nervously, Arwen begged, unspoken, for an explanation.

"Creating love is like creating the stars. It is never easy, but the result is so beautiful that there is no explanation needed."

*`*`*_  
  
What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know  
  
If only we could turn the hands of time  
If I could take you back would you still be mine  
  
'Cos I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind  
  
_

*`*`*

The light of a morning-fresh star, unseen before this night, slipped into the room unobtrusively, resting on the fairest elven maiden in the whole of Middle Earth. Her grey eyes were open in the sleep of her kindred, and the faintest of tear trails still marred the appearance of an ancient and noble facade. 

The temporarily discarded embroidery of a flag was briefly illuminated, as if an answer to prayers.

*`*`*

_What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
What if I had never walked away  
'Cos I still love you more than I can say  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know  
We'll never know_

…~…~…~…~…

Reviews appreciated, flames enjoyed, and constructive feedback worshipped.


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